Let me first ask for forgiveness for entering something that is clearly none of my business.... but I felt so compelled to share my feelings I couldn't stop.

 

One of the truly unique gifts that Mary had and gave so willingly was acceptance.  She didn't care about circumstances, or finances or decisions you have made or were making..... she loved unconditionally.  If you just look at the people she loved so dearly including her family, they came from all walks of life.

 

Everyone grieves in their own way at their own pace, who are we to judge time or actions?  Some with anger as is seen in some of the postings and others with intent to honor Mary by choosing life.  I personally think that it dishonors Mary's memory to be judgmental and accusatory, especially in such an open forum.  I know this would hurt Mary, and embarrass her.  She had much more tact and grace than that.  I think it wise not to forget who Mary was and what she stood for, even though we are faced with our own grief.  Mary would expect that her family and friends come together now more than ever.  I don't think the thought that D may have found comfort from someone else would make her sad, I think that it would hurt more that people she loved unconditionally would not be tolerant but choose to attack and hold grudges.  She wasn't about that.

 

Anger is so much a part of grief, trying to understand and not having answers is so difficult, but it is more than inappropriate, in my humble opinion, to turn that anger on each other.  The need to hurt and lash out, when you are facing such hurt is understandable, but to what motive?

 

I miss Mary, the wisdom, the life in her eyes, the caring, the acceptance.... I really do, but lets honor her memory with love and acceptance.. not with anger and accusations.... founded or otherwise.

 

Forgive me again for my intrusion......

 

Sincerely,

 

Sheri Hogg